Matchmaking online may not win favour with every parent but young people are discerning that it works along similar lines to introductions set up by families to achieve arranged marriages.

A female Sikh dentist from India exchanged emails for many months with the UK-based Sikh accountant who was to become her husband in 2003. She believes she got to know him inside out before they met.

“When you write to someone by email, you get to know all their thoughts and feelings. You can read between the lines and take your time,” she said.

She said there were two ways to meet a partner in India. One was for relatives to introduce you through newspaper matrimonials, the other option was the internet. She believed the internet was the best way to meet someone if you wanted to get married and settle down.

Her husband confounded friends who joked about his efforts to find a partner online. He was married within a year of making contact.

He told the BBC: “The way I see it, arranged marriages seem to last longer than love marriages. Arranged marriages are the unification of two characters, whereas love marriages are more to do with chemistry and emotion.”

When he began chatting to his lady friend he had no picture of her on which to base his feelings. “There was no chemical interaction. Instead I got to know her character.”

Subsequently, he has encouraged friends to use the internet to find a spouse – and one of them got married in 2004 after meeting his wife online.

“Within Sikh families, there’s a subconscious force that keeps you together in marriage,” he told the BBC. “When you first get married, you go through good and bad times. In other cultures, when you meet bad times, sometimes it seems easier to split up.”

His wife–to-be agreed to her family introducing her to potential husbands but because she wasn’t wholly comfortable with the idea she decided to look online as well.

The man she chose turned out to be “perfect” for her – in many ways her opposite but sharing her religious beliefs and someone who made her laugh all the time. The couple are now expecting their first child.

With acknowledgements to the BBC

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